One of the most interesting aspects of leadership is that all people bring something unique to the table. Many articles on leadership will talk about qualities like integrity, effective communication or influence, while these are all good qualities, maybe even all necessary qualities of a leader, they don’t mean much if a leader doesn’t put their people ahead of themselves.
In the early days of being in a leadership position many will think that their title is all they need. That with the title will come automatic respect and and inclination to follow whomever bears the title. Many “young” leaders must learn is that leadership is something one must work hard at.
Sometimes “young” leaders will have a peer come to them and confront them about their selfish attitude, but not always. Not only is it a leader’s job to support their people through constructive criticism, feedback and support, but the leader needs to be self-critical and realize that their own attitudes and practices do affect the team.
When leader is doing well their success should be visible in the success of those they lead. The leader should acknowledge these accomplishments in both private and public. The leader should know their teammates, not just their name, position and responsibilities—but the real person outside their responsibility to the team. Leaders must leave their own ego at the door; your teammates are going to accomplish things you cannot and that is OK. Having a peer be able to move on to another opportunity, in part because of the leader’s mentorship should be viewed as a leader’s greatest accomplishment. Give your teammates an environment in which they can become the best possible version of themselves.
In doing these things all members of the team will be viewed as successful when success comes and when it does not, the environment to move on and try again will have already been fostered.
In all aspects of our lives there are always two sets of opportunities in front of us—one set governs where we are, a current job, a current relationship, a current volunteer activity, a current hobby and then there are those things only available if we actively seek them.
Whatever those new things are that we seek, if we find them and develop them we become more versatile. It could be that what we have currently (a job, relationship, volunteerism, hobby) provides us with the tools to become more versatile. Sometimes we need to actively find new things to learn, new skills to develop, new networks to tap into.
If we only remain qualified to maintain our current job, relationship, volunteer activity or hobby we are vulnerable to or unprepared for change.
Every day we should set out two lists of tasks for ourselves: one to maintain that which we already have and one that will allow us to expand the boundaries of our experience and knowledge.
It doesn’t matter who you are—an entrepreneur who created your own job, an employee, a community organization leader or member, a high school or college student, a retiree, or a stay at home parent—you have the capability, this very moment, to prepare for what comes next.
As the summer weather starts to settle in, those people in leadership roles might want to take advantage of a nice day through outdoor team building activities. Getting your team out into the sunshine can be a nice change of pace and a reenergizing experience, especially for a team that mostly works indoors and/or sitting at a desk.
A scavenger hunt might be a common activity; however, one can turn it into a team building exercise. Especially when you encourage people to work with those they don’t normally work with. Leaders can use this activity to break up social cliques in the workspace.
Making the scavenger hunt task-oriented with problem solving activities is another way to increase the team-building aspect of the activity. This might include puzzles and riddles as well as searching for particular objects. Each team should receive an identical list of tasks and there should be a deadline by which all tasks need completed.
The “human knot” is another fun activity that is well suited for a sunny, outdoor space. Depending on the number of participants, you may want to break people up into several groups. The instructions are simple—everyone should stand shoulder to shoulder in a circle and facing each other. First, everyone sticks out their right hand and grabs a random hand across from them. Then the same with their left hand. The goal is to untangle the knot without releasing hands. Success is dependent on team work and communication.
An “egg drop” using office supplies is another possibility for a game—instructions for variations on egg drops are available online. But the gist is that teams will use common items from the work space to construct armor for their raw egg. After a set time limit is up, each team will drop their egg from the same height to see which team constructed the best armor. Obviously, this messy game is easier to clean up outside.
These are just a few examples of team building activities that don’t happen in a meeting room around a table. Try them out. That nice weather will have people’s attention wandering from common, indoor activities.
When we speak about success, leadership, the workplace and other goal oriented parts of our lives we typically think of distractions as bad. How to avoid all those things that lead our attention away from responsibility and personal betterment have been a large part of the conversation of success. But what if distractions weren’t all bad—which seems to be the popular narrative about distractions in America.
According to an article in Psychology Today distractions can very much be a good thing in many situations. The article suggests that distractions are one of our primary coping mechanisms for dealing with physical pain. Not only that, but also mental pain such as anxiety. In children, pre-surgery anxiety is very common. In one study, three groups of children were studied for pre-surgery anxiety. There were three groups: one was given an anxiety medication; one group was given nothing; one group were given video games to play. The study found the video game group to have the least amount of measurable anxiety. Another study found that adult patients given video games to play experienced 50% less pain during wound cleanings.
But clearly distractions are also bad at time. How can we tell the difference? Dr. Jane MacGonigal has written extensively on the subject of distraction and she suggests that we simply ask ourselves whether we are using the object of distraction as an escape from our lives or are we using it to enhance our lives?
In the workplace, in a group as the leader, is a particular person or group using a distraction as a means to avoid uncomfortable conversation, to avoid boring or challenging work, to disengage from useful problem solving? Maybe it’s OK for your employee to play Words with Friends for fifteen minutes to ease their anxiety about please an important client. Maybe some off-topic conversation at a creative meeting is just want the group needs to relax and be able to share the ideas they think might be good, but are afraid of.
When traveling the road of life, we won’t always be the one in charge or be put into a labeled leadership role; however, that doesn’t mean that exemplifying leadership qualities isn’t important. So, how can one act like a leader when they aren’t leading?
First always be a clear communicator. Leaders don’t talk behind people’s backs, they don’t complain behind closed doors. They never say yes when they mean no. Leaders speak what they believe and they stick to their guns, unless presented with good reasons to change their outlook. Good leaders are always flexible as well. Teams function best when everyone is giving an opportunity to be a specialist. Let the other team members shine when it comes to what they are best at. Weigh your teammate’s abilities and perspectives equally.
Another two-sided coin of demonstrating your leader-like qualities is to not let people walk all over you. Make your voice heard. Don’t be afraid to help someone, but don’t let them take advantage of you either. The best leaders bring others with them on their ride towards success—this is how success works share it, but take your credit when it’s due. Likewise, if something is your mistake, don’t be afraid to own! If you are under a good leader, they will understand, and the team will be there to help make the best of the situation. When you are acting like a leader, a mistake must be owned by the person who made it, but the team will want to help them.
Finally, don’t put up with bullies—whether it is someone trying to dominate a conversation or marginalize a co-worker, stand up for what is right. You’ll be surprised how quickly most people are to rally behind the morally-upstanding person who speaks out first.
What can you control?
This question shifts the focus from focusing on that which is beyond the protégé’s control and onto what someone can actually do about the situation the find themselves stuck in. One might not be able to change an unfair policy immediately, but they may be able to find short-term answers to help themselves deal with it while they work on longer-term solutions.
What obstacles are facing you?
Protégés may be not want to share the challenges they find troubling, or may not have really thought them through. Asking about them directly allows the mentor to explore the challenges with which the protégé is struggling, and discuss the individual’s strengths and weaknesses in addressing them.
In three to five years how do you want to change?
Since the business world changes at such a fast pace today, focusing on a shorter window still allows enough time for creative, aspirational thinking without the distraction of how different the workplace might be at that time. The answers may reveal how the protégé wants to grow, or fundamental changes they need to make to achieve their goals.
What is the outcome you want?
If the protégé is facing a complicated situation, that is often the best question you can ask to help them lift their head up and start to look at the situation from an entirely new angle.
What does success look like to you?
Asking what success looks like can refer to long-term goals and planning. However, when applied to a specific situation, it can help determine what the immediate priorities are for a project or situation.