Afraid to Speak at Meetings? Here Are Some Tips.

Speaking in a group conversation can be intimidating and depending on the organization you work in or the expectations of your job there maybe nothing wrong with being quiet, it may be a liability to your career. It can even matter in social situations that come up at work. Generally, speaking there is nothing wrong with being quiet, but if you want to assert yourself more in conversations here are some ideas.

First, give yourself permission to be silent. Otherwise it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy in which you never speak because of the feedback loop of pressure and anxiety you create for yourself.

You can try talking more often than it feels like you should. Even if this is a simple affirmation of what someone else has said. If you speak more often than you feel is necessary as a quiet person you are probably chiming in about the average amount. If you don’t force yourself to participate every so often you almost certainly will default to your normal amount of speaking.

While this may seem in opposition to the first point it important not deride yourself but at the same time encourage yourself. Don’t stress yourself out. Do your best to find a happy medium.

If it is work meetings you are concerned about make sure to be prepared, have some talking points written down ahead of time. If the conversation takes a unanticipated turn towards an unscheduled topic do your best to improvise.

Remember also that if the goal is to be heard and make yourself more present small contributions are better than nothing. Try accenting other people’s larger ideas with small thoughts. If someone is making an argument for or against a certain action or direction the organization might take fill in the gaps with little thoughts.

If you aren’t speaking remember to at least be honestly engaged in the conversation. Look the current speaker in the eye. Don’t appear too relaxed, sit up with a good posture. Take notes by hand even if you don’t need them. Be the person in the room who isn’t distracted by their cell phone.

The Importance of a Personal Touch in a Digital World

 

Much of digital technology seems tailor made to enhance productivity and increase communication in the realm of business. Email, instant messaging, text messaging, social media—all of these are great for communicating data, media and information. But do any of these media platforms successfully transmit our humanity? Our identity? 

In her 2012 TED Talk, “Connected, but alone?” Sherry Turkle, psychologist and author, tells us that all these “snippets” of conversation we have with each other over digital media do not sum to a real conversation.  

She tells us that when using digital media to communicate we experience what she calls “The Goldie Locks Effect.” When it comes to digital communication, we can control how much of our selves we reveal—not too little, not too much, just right. We can edit ourselves and thus show only a polished and safe version of ourselves. While this is sometimes a boon in a professional setting, being too cold, too polished can also be off-putting. 

Adding a personal touch when interacting with people inside or outside of our organizations can send a signal loud enough to be heard over all the digital disruption about who we are, what we do, why we do it and what we care about. The naysayers of digital technology worry that we will lose our humanity—this is a way to keep that as a part of your business model. Things like signage and mission statements, body language, handwritten messages and cards. Think tangible. Think personal.